In cinematic history, there have been few scenes quite like the one where a comatose deer awakens in the back of Richard's car in "Tommy Boy."
The scene is going in what one would think is a predictable direction, with no hint that the deer is about to wake up and destroy a vintage auto. It takes a matter of seconds, and when it's over, all Richard can do is stare in shock and say "No way that just happened."
Oh but it did, Richard. It did.
I've seen a lot of football in my life. I've seen Arsenal take it up the proverbial hole to the tune of 8-2 at Old Trafford. I don't think in all that time I've ever seen anything quite like that I saw today.
What can you say after the host nation receives an anal pounding like the one that Brasil took today? You don't offer perspective. You don't recount what happened. What's the point?
The deer woke up and destroyed the car. I suppose that Germany awoke as well. Or something.
Could Brasil be that bad? Awful? Horrendous? Wretched? Pathetic? Useless?
The story must be about Brasil, not about Germany. The shower that was Brasil's defence had nothing at all to do with poor Neymar. I don't even know how you explain what happened. Barry Glendenning didn't know how to explain it. Baz's Guardian minute-by-minute recounting of that thing that happened.
Remember, this was a World Cup semifinal match, played by Brasil, who hadn't lost on home soil since 1975. 1975! Do you even understand how long that has been? This was supposed to be the tournament that coronated Brasil and justified the somewhat troubling expense of staging this event there. This was supposed to be a reward.
Instead, it was the most amazing, horrible, unthinkable bottom-spearing of a football contest that one could ever see. Arsenal's capitulation at Stamford Bridge on Wenger's 1000th match wasn't nearly this stunning. It was shite, but it wasn't this stunning. This was...
No way that just happened.
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