La Masia

I am happy that ManU lost. It puzzles me, I must admit, exactly how it happened. I saw them come very close to scoring an opening goal, at 9 minutes I asked Bill "Has Eto'o even touched the ball?," and a few seconds later Iniesta fed him at the edge of the box and after one move, the ball was in the net and even if it had not, there would have been a penalty because somebody slid in and tried to break both of Samuel's legs--after the shot was past Van der Sar!

It was literally "just like that." And from that moment, something in ManU's demeanor changed. Barça had acres of space to play "OLÉ!" football. The tight marking and smothering midfield that choked Arsenal to death, combined with the relentless pressure from Rooney, Crissie, and Park went missing. I really couldn't believe what I was seeing. It wasn't as though both sides were playing attacking football; it was that ManU were doing NOTHING.

Messi's goal wasn't brilliant. I mean, the technique was class, and that he took the chance and hit the net was professional, but let's be honest: Messi is a little man, and little men don't soar to the sky and blast headers in the 6 yard box. He was alone. No Vidic, no Ferdinand, no Donkey O'Shea, and certainly not Evra, a.k.a THE MAN.

What was I watching? Dreams of the Quintuple (or in the case of Crissie, the Cuntuple) reduced to a league title and the Carling Cup, that's what. Ferg's mercenaries either weren't capable of doing the business at hand, or they simply couldn't be arsed. They certainly were against Arsenal.

I suppose it could be chalked up to confidence. That doesn't seem likely but it could be. Wouldn't most clubs be confident against no-hopers like Adebayor, Diaby and Silvestre? But against the men of Barça, the early goal seemed to make the Mancs tentative, both in defence and attack. I'm sure the hairdryer was on full blast at the half, because they came out and at least gave some appearance of closing down space. Anderson, who had been invisible, was replaced by the king of the headless chickens, Tevez. Work rate, the good old English characteristic, would carry the day! Come on lads, get stuck in! Thus the introduction of Scholes, whose job it was to cripple anyone in a blue and red shirt. Crissie did her part with a few choice thrown elbows, too.

And it did absolutely nothing to Barcelona. It seemed to anger Puyol, who started doing his usual bizarre antics, and Xavi, who got in Crissie's face after a particularly stupid foul.

Valdes did his part when asked, but he rarely was. The back line was not challenged much, mostly because the six players in front of them (and the excellent Keita when he came on) were simply that dominant. Silvinho and Puyol don't have to do the job that English fullbacks do--not in the way you might think. The "hoof it up the wing and make an overlapping run" method wasn't employed. They did get forward some, but when you have Messi and Henry, what do you need with opening up your flanks to counter attacks?

In the end, the Mancs were meek. What joy! What glory! I danced the schadenfreude polka at The Bulldog with a crowd of celebrating Catalans. If I can't watch Arsenal win, then watching ManU or Chelsea lose is absolutely the next best thing. (Special thanks to The Bulldog for "free pint glass" day, because I could always use a few more.)

Now a word about Arsenal...
Today's Guardian has a well-intentioned column about the perceived similarities between Arsenal and Barça, both in playing style and long-term club development. It's utter rubbish. While it's true that the Catalans' academy has produced a large number of players, the difference is that those players don't immediately bolt for another club when they want bigger wages, and that their club has the resources to buy some of the top players in the world to balance out the side. How much money do Barcelona have? Enough that they donated their shirt sponsorship to Unicef. I'm waiting for WWF or Save the Children to show up on Arsenal's shirt. Yes, of course.

Rather than go player by player on the Arsenal team sheet and say how each of them wouldn't even make the Barcelona reserves, I'll just say that beyond Arshavin, Fabregas, and possibly Van Persie, not one of the Arsenal players is good enough. Diaby's every touch is negative, he sucks the life out of the movement of the team. Watching his performance v. United compared to the control and vision of the Barça midfield was shocking. Adebayor's worthless, "I'm trying to get sent off here, ref!" performance against ManU would never be tolerated in Barcelona. There's no sense in comparing the two clubs, much less the two groups of players.

Arsenal seem like a collection of individuals rather than a team, and I don't simply mean because of their attitudes. I mean, it seems as though it's just a random collection of players with no scheme in mind as to what they're supposed to be doing. What is Vela's role? What is Ramsey's? What does Djourou do? Eboue? Nasri?

Couldn't Vela be the Tevez at the Grove? Or, rather, could he? Arsenal are unsettled right now and that more than anything else is likely fueling the discontent coming from the fans. Wenger has been buying players for years who don't seem to do anything or don't seem to have a place. If you have long-term absences due to injury, then these players should be capable of providing cover. If you have multiple injuries at one position, then the same should apply. How is it that Vela isn't good enough to cover for all the injured strikers at Arsenal? Why couldn't Nasri step in for Fabregas?

Don't buy players who can't play, there's an idea. If they're developing, then let them develop. If you need cover, buy a few competent, experienced Premiership players (NOT SILVESTRE!) who can step in and play with confidence.

Arsenal are not like Barcelona. Full stop.

Bardolph

"his face is all bubukles, and whelks, and knobs, and flames o' fire: and his lips blows at his nose, and it is like a coal of fire, sometimes plue and sometimes red"

My football club is Arsenal FC. How this came to be, I can't precisely say, other than when Bruce Rioch was the manager, I picked Arsenal out of the table that was printed in the Atlanta paper. They were not a great side at that moment. I didn't know anything about them other than that was the coolest name of the names I saw, and I hated Manchester United. I knew I hated ManU because I don't like bullies and I don't like big teams that spend their way to titles and I don't like teams that attract glory-hunting daytrippers.

I chose Arsenal. I didn't know about Herbert Chapman or Highbury or Dial Square or Liam Brady or George Graham or Bertie Mee. I didn't know Tony Adams or Michael Thomas or Rocky Rocastle or Paul Merson. I just liked the name.

The next season, Arsenal hired Arsene Wenger as manager. By this time, I knew who Ian Wright was.

Arsenal won the double. Arsenal made it to the Uefa Cup final and lost to the Turks on penalties. Fox Sports started showing more highlights and games. The Brewhouse, right up the street from me in Little Five Points, would show matches live on Saturday mornings.

Arsenal were good. ManU were good. They fought for the title every season. Their players showed genuine antipathy toward each other. Wenger was thoughtful and erudite.

And ManU were led by the bully, the man who had won the treble, the man who was Knighted, the "mind games" master. Alex Ferguson made me angry and sick and envious all at once. I hated his touchline tantrums and his incoherent Scottish mumblings during post-match interviews. I hated his arrogance and his big red nose and his gum-smacking. I hated the fact that he could not bear to accept Arsenal's greatness.

Arsenal are stuck now, stuck trying to service the debt on their lovely modern enormous stadium. Arsenal can't buy players like Bergkamp any more. Wenger can do nothing about that situation; it's reality, unalterable. Arsenal have foresworn the sugar daddy model that Chelsea (scumski!) pioneered. That's noble. ManU have money, all the money in the world. ManU could buy every player on every club on every continent and have enough left over to keep Ferg supplied with enough claret to stay permanently buzzed.

Wenger buys talented teenagers and tries to get them to play like men. Ferg buys the best players and screams at them until they win everything. Chelsea buy everything else and play shit ugly football. Liverpool are lukewarm tea.

Arsenal can't fix what's wrong until the stadium is paid for. I don't blame Wenger and I don't think he's naive or stupid. Tactics are what they are in this sport, but talent ivariably trumps tactics if the players are committed to the effort. I am really sick of watching Arsenal's bargain buys fall apart, but I understand it. Eboue almost drove me completely mad at one point this season, but by the end he was showing the necessary commitment. That was rare this year.

Eboue? I can't believe I'm talking about him when ManU have the players they have. I talk about Bendtner and they trot out Tevez and Berbatov. Everyone sees this and nobody understands it. Wenger has Arshavin, Fabregas, and a faceless cast of kids and the Manc garbage Silvestre.

Wenger paints this situation as "his vision" and "his experiment." The truth is he had to adopt this tack because he has no money. Talk about a challenge. Talk about greatness. Here it is: Finish in the top four in England with no money. Do the same in the Champions League. Toss in the semifinals of the FA Cup too. But remember, you have no money.

I resent ManU's success because of the amount of money they spend, and earn, and because they are led by a bitter old bully. I'm never happy for them when they win anything. I understand that it evolved this way, which is why I hate Chelsea far more. I hate the silly things Ferg says about opposing players and managers and officials while excusing the excesses of players like Rooney and Crissi Ronaldo (and the worst offender of them all, Royston Keane).

Someday Arsenal will be great again. I hope Wenger is around to enjoy it.