When the pictures are hidden...

This weekend, the Arsenal Football Club will play at Stoke City.

I operate under the assumption that Aaron Ramsey, Arsenal midfielder, will be among the substitutes--only because I also assume that the club's captain, Cesc Fabregas, will be counted among the first XI.

I have terrible mixed emotions about this trip. Part of me wishes to see Aaron on the pitch, scoring a goal and then removing his kit and taking a massive, pent-up sh*t all over Ryan Shawc*nt. (For those of you who don't know, Shawc*nt is the original "He's not that kind of player," or as Arsenal supporters have come to know it, "HNTKOP." His repeated inability to tackle correctly has caused serious injury to 3 players so far in a just a few years of first team football. But remember, he's not that kind of player.)

Part of me, however, remains in a pained limbo over the whole thing. I didn't see last season's match live. I saw a delayed replay the same day, and knew it was coming--"it" being that flying stomp by the great ape Shawc*nt on Aaron's leg--and it still horrified and sickened me so much that I was reduced to tears. Aaron had become a focal point for the progress of Arsene's youth project, a player who symbolised the way a bright young talent could slowly work his way into the first team, and his contributions last season were growing in importance. In contrast to the energetic, possession-keeping, tackling and hustling Jack Wilshere, Aaron was an attacking midfielder who was always driving things forward and moving upfield.

I've never seen the stomp since then. I can't imagine seeing it. I can't even want to watch the end of the match when Arsenal gathered themselves and fought back, when Big Sol stood and roared and the Captain told an interviewer, "For me, it is no good."

So seeing Aaron back on that pitch against Tony Putrid's lab experiments gone wrong, it would almost be too much to stomach. I don't know if I need that kind of closure as a supporter. I think that happened last weekend with Aaron's goal against the Rags.

I don't want people to forget what happened--ever. The shame of what that idiot did to Aaron can't be forgotten, nor should anyone forget what kind of player he was becoming before his career was so crudely interrupted. It's a more simple prospect for me--I just can't stand the thought of seeing something so horrific again. I've seen it 3 times in recent years happen to Arsenal players and I don't care to witness such a thing ever again. I think I don't even want to see it happen to John Terry. That's how horrible I think it is.

Most instructive about the vomit-inducing nature of the "tackle" was that most of the highlights programmes refused to show it or its aftermath. I believe that MOTD said plainly that it was too disgusting to show and while I know many people claimed that this was merely an attempt to diminish the violence in English football, I can't see the conspiracy there. It was in my mind a simple case of "Here, do you really want to see something this bloody disgusting again?"

The best kind of closure that could happen this weekend? A sound thrashing of Stoke City and a straight red for Shawc*nt--before the match. Just for being a big, stupid, smelly twat.