How much longer?

"Today, Mesut, you will start on zee left."

And thus began yet another draw.

A draw at home, against a side that the most famous Arsenal-sponsored blogger on the planet Earth called "a bag of festering shit." I'm not sure that saying that was necessary.

Mostly because the Bag of Festering Shit Society of the United Kingdom has now lodged a complaint for libel, slander, and "defecation of character." (See what I did there?)

What can one really say about that hideous and predictable disaster that was the North London Derby's latest renewal?

"Hey Arsene, you really didn't cover yourself in glory today!"

"Hey Arsene, you know fuck all about how to deploy the two most expensive players in the club's history!"

"Hey Stan, you miserly old cunt who thinks of the club as nothing more than a 'property' and a 'brand,' why don't you go have sex with the world's angriest bull elephant? You know, like a bull elephant who just broke up with his long time girlfriend and is really looking to just shove his elephant penis up the hole of some penny-penching old fuckwit who would rather steal 3 million quid from Arsenal than buy TWO FUCKING PLAYERS WHO MAY HAVE PREVENTED THIS SHIT STORM? STAN I HOPE THIS ELEPHANT RIPS YOUR BUTTOCKS COMPLETELY OFF YOUR BODY BY FUCKING YOU SO HARD UP YOUR ASSHOLE THAT, ALTHOUGH YOU WILL SOON DIE, YOU HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE HELL OF BEING A MISERABLE OLD SHIT STAIN THAT GOES AROUND SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF SPORT CLUBS!"

You really could say all those things, you know.  I like all three of them. No, actually I don't like any of them. I hate that I wrote them.

Most of all I hate that Arsenal are "undefeated" and yet sit 6 points behind Chelsea and have scored 8 fewer goals. Six points behind after six matches.

Well done, Stan and Arsene. Fucking brilliant work. You've revolutionised the destruction of a football club. People once got very angry at this type of thing, but thanks to the both of you, Arsenal supporters are just bereft of energy and the will to say or do anything.

We have the invisible money-grubbing "owner" who demands a ticket price rise and then pays his fucking gravy-train worthless little offspring that sum at the same time that the club don't do shit to win a title.

We have the intractable, inscrutable bullshit master Arsene Wenger who is trading on a legacy that is now covered in mold and moss and who hasn't done anything since 2004 to win the league.

Oh and here is where Mister Blowhard Insufferable Yank Stats Man Rational Blogger shows up and writes love letters to Wenger and tells me I don't know what it was like to move to the Grove and he has the statistics to prove that the reason why Wenger can't fucking get his tactics straight is because of the stadium debt.

Well you know what, I'm fucking sick of your incessant bleatings at the feet of the club. Take their fucking paycheques and sod the fuck right off with your kid out to the woods. I don't FUCKING CARE ANYMORE.

Someone please tell me what the fucking "tactics" were from yesterday's match? Please do elucidate. I've been watching football since the 1986 World Cup and whilst I haven't watched as much as the Famous Irish Blogger Who Is In The Club's Pocket, I can tell you I have NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THE FUCK WENGER WAS UP TO.

I'm going to make this bit short and bitter.

High defensive line? FUCK THIS SHIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT FUCK THE HIGH DEFENSIVE LINE YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS HORRENDOUS PATHETIC "TACTIC" IT'S FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!

Not starting Sanchez, and starting Ozil on the left? YOU ARE FUCKING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND FUCKING FUCK OFF WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF HAVING THESE TOP PLAYERS IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO YOUR TRADITIONAL "I'M GOING TO PLAY ZEM WHERE I PLEASE AND ZEY HAVE NO REASON TO DISLIKE WHAT I DO AND CERTAINLY YOU PEASANTS THAT THINK YOU MATTER HAVE NO REASON TO EVER QUESTION ME AND WILL i EVER WIN ANOTHER TITLE? SPIRIT, QUALITY, DETERMINATION, A LITTLE BIT SHARPNESS, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."  Fuck off, mate. You won 3 league titles before most people who are following the club now even knew it. Who gives A RAT'S ROTTEN TIT ABOUT WHAT YOU DID IN 1998, DO I CARE THAT KEVIN BLOODY KEEGAN ALMOST WON THE LEAGUE ONCE? FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Done.

Lastly, the Famous Irish Blogger Who Jokes A Lot To Distract People From Arsene Wenger's Utter Shit Management said that Danny Welbeck had "a quiet game overall."

You really expect me to fucking believe that? What fucking match were you watching, "mate?" Must have been the same one that cunt ref was watching, because you don't seem to know fucking shit about what just happened.

Danny Welbeck is a fucking warrior. Danny Welbeck got in Kaboul's face and told him "I knocked you down because you grabbed my arm" and then fucking said "Hey, HEY! YOU GRABBED MY ARM!"

Danny Welbeck was trained by the biggest fucking cunt in English football, and he takes no fucking shit off anyone, and he is the only fucking forward player at the club who fights, runs, and works his fucking arse off for the fucking shirt.

I wish the myopic old manager who thought that Olivier "The Gallic Howler" Giroud was the solution would have demanded Welbeck as part of the RVP deal. He would have saved us from two years of a lumbering lug who is more concerned about fucking some bird in a hotel than RUNNING TO THE FUCKING PENALTY SPOT WHEN IT'S TIME TO TROUBLE THE OPPOSING DEFENCE.

How could ANY sane person look at the shift that Welbeck put in yesterday and call it anything other than brave, heroic, and committed to the cause? Get a fucking life you shit sucking bloggers who are in the pocket of the club. I don't fucking care what you say anymore.

Watch this match again and watch how many times Welbeck ran, ran, ran, ran to either make himself a target or cover for the precious molly-coddled teammates who treated the first half of a fucking derby match as a training exercise.

The boy is a fucking legend already and if you don't start treating him with the respect he deserves, he'll leave like every other decent player this club has had since Wenger's bullshit fucking "project" started.

Alan Sunderland was in the stands yesterday. Make the fucking connection, you cunts. Even Smudger would be hard pressed to displace a player like Welbeck and Danny is only 23 years old.

It was Welbeck who ran to the penalty spot and distracted the defence when Ox scored the equaliser.  So piss the fuck off, "mates."

Leftovers? Fuck you Wenger for not starting Sanchez. What the fuck? Go away.

Fuck you Wenger for employing such predictable tactics that once again the squad surrendered a cheap, predictable goal.

Fuck you Wenger for, one fucking week after the masterclass against Villa when I said "more like this," starting with Ozil on the left. I know why you're doing this. You're doing it because your massive self-serving ego heard Jose Mourinho say that Ozil is the best number 10 in the world and you want to prove that you know more about football than he does even though it may cost Arsenal your fucking precious 4th place trophy.

You miserable old man. What is the fucking point of your stubborn ways anymore?

Even Stan the Miserly Cunt can't take all the blame for what you did yesterday.

How much longer do supporters have to watch this shit?

(Drops mic. Walks off.)

Silent Stan and the "protection of mediocrity"

Why in the name of the Buddha would a man who is allegedly worth a few billion quid steal 3 million more from the Arsenal football club?

THAT is the question.

There's so much here that it's a bit difficult to fathom without going all Swiss Ramble on you. Silent Stan conspired to take almost five million US dollars out of Arsenal at the moment that the club can't even purchase an inanimate carbon rod to back up the defence.

Why?

Let me assure you, all I can think of is greed.

This isn't some black scarf/bin bag rant. I'm simply telling you that if you observe the man's behaviour in relation to his sporting endeavours, he couldn't possibly give a toss about championships.

Ah, you say, what is the purpose of a billionaire owning a football club if the "brand" (christ I hate that term) is devalued by his efforts? Football in England isn't like professional gridiron in the USA--winning creates value.

What are the most valuable "brands" (seriously, kill me) in world football? It sure isn't the team that consistently comes in fourth place and averages 1.75 goals/match. No, they're clubs that win titles.

We've been patting ourselves on the back about Arsenal's "renewed strength" in sponsorships, but then we pretend we don't see that the club who finished seventh in the league last season has millions and millions more to spend because companies want to be associated with them.

Puma and Emirates? That's nice. Try Nike and Chevrolet.  And as for the other world giants, Arsenal don't come close to Real Madrid, Barca, or Bayern. We're lucky that we have a tangible history, unlike Chelsea and Manchester City, so that we can "exist" without their petrol fueled cash.

Take a look at Silent Stan's holdings--he's simply a business man who makes money. He isn't at all concerned with trophies or glory. My guess is, as an astute person who married for money and is simply in the business of making more of it, he looked at the next "growth industry" in sport and selected the most valuable "property" in England into which he could buy.

Lucky us.

He literally married the Walmart lady so that he could develop land around their stores. What a fucking romantic.

Arsenal represented "property" for Stan--both the real estate kind and the entity. And what's more, he got a rabid, loyal group of supporters to whom he could pass along 3% rises in ticket costs and then essentially pay his bloody offspring the difference.

Stealing from the club and not giving a toss about winning the league is one matter.  "The protection of mediocrity" is the other.

Let me tell you that as a Yank I have a bit of perspective on Stan's ownership of the St. Louis Rams NFL team. This is a club that since Stan bought into them has won exactly one championship and has for the most part bumbled along.

He's a real estate agent. Thanks, Lady Nina!

The result of Stan's operation of Arsenal is that he supports what Arsene Wenger calls "protection of mediocrity." An owner who doesn't care one whit about winning trophies ensures that Wenger will stay on board forever.

This is where we are now. Silent Stan, it's all thanks to you.

No fault in our stars

Everyone has an opinion on what was most significant about Arsenal's 3-0 dismissal of Aston Villa. The first league clean sheet of the season? Yeah, I'd go with that.

Aside from Callow Chambers (sorry) near dismissal, the back 4 plus Szcz hardly put a foot wrong in what could've been a dangerous contest. Remember how Villa beat Liverpool (which is starting look less impressive by the day)? An early "smash and grab" counterattacking goal from Gabby Agbonlahor followed by 82 minutes of seat-of-their-trousers defending took the Villains to second in the league.

No such luck yesterday for the claret and blue boys. Arsenal's keeper--the maker of his own bad luck--kept them off the scoresheet early and his defending cohorts stayed a steady course the rest of the way. Gibbs and Chambers played a key role in the Gunners' possession game, whilst Per and Koz did the dull and dirty work of mopping up anything that got past a resurgent midfield.

Considering the cheapness of the goals surrendered this season, and the errors which often caused them, the clean sheet has to be the most important takeaway from this match. I've been very dismayed at the way Arsenal have conceded so far; more concentration and tenacity at the back could've easily garnered the club 4 more points thus far.

Switching off after conceding a free kick or corner has been a serious problem for this team. You can only hope yesterday was a platform off of which more success can be built.

Ah, you see, I have chosen the dull side of football for which to praise my Arsenal. That's the exact opposite of what most supporters would see and most likely what Arsene Wnger values the least, if you judge him by his transfer spending.

Defending is not something that is done by 4 players at the back and a keeper--it's a collective effort by the entire XI. And despite the attempts to falsify the contribution of Olivier Giroud by the Wenger-lovers, yesterday was clear evidence of what the long-term contribution of Danny Welbeck can be.

Giroud was often lauded for his "ability to clear crosses" or some such thing. Yeah, whatever, me neither. His work rate was often such that one was tempted to see if the famous inanimate carbon rod couldn't do a bit more in his place.

I'm going to just come out and say it right now--Wenger molly-coddled Giroud for two seasons and it was seriously grating on my nerves. Whether it was out of a sense of Gallic solidarity or a myopic inability to see him for what he really was, for some reason Wenger stuck with Giroud when even Chuba Akpom started to look like the more effective option.

In two seasons, Giroud probably ran less than Welbeck did yesterday. I can see SAF's dirty fingerprints all over him. He knows no other way to play than 100% effort. Giroud looks like a Peruvian cart mule compared to Welbeck.

Ferguson would never have tolerated the Frenchman's lackadaisical (Laconic? Languid? Some other L word?) style, more than likely switching on the hair dryer after one game and then shipping him back to the French 2nd division after two. Welbeck still plays like he can hear a drunken old Scot screaming in his ear.

Giroud's classic move--to amble to the top of the "D" and then stop--grew to be so frustrating that I would simply scream "What are you stopping for?" at the telly and then it was a race to see whether he or I would end up howling first.

So I have to say, not being forced to watch him at the present time makes Arsenal matches just that little bit more pleasant. Oh, and not having to listen to the pro-Wenger spin merchants tell me about Giroud's so-called greatness (or Sanogo's, for that matter) is also a relief. It certainly must clear their consciences not to have to lie for a few farthings from the club.

Welbeck's efforts yesterday pleased me to no end. Whether he was dropping back to receive the ball whilst his teammates ran forward, forcing himself between defenders in front of goal, or constantly harassing the Villa defence, he was in constant motion.

The goal was simple--what you'd expect of a centre-forward, really. It was the product of working hard enough to put himself in the place where a talented midfielder could get him the ball. He didn't lope to the outer edge of the 18 yard box and stop like a United Nations observer. He went for it and he was rewarded.

The assist, however, was not common. It wasn't even what I'd expect from Welbeck. It combined vision, timing, and ability. What a beauty. Again, you can see the way he was raised in football. If he had missed that pass back at United, SAF would've blasted him with a profane outburst, not a pat on the back and a polite defence in the post-match presser. Iron fist, etc.

One other thing that's now apparent is that if Ozil and Cazorla are to coexist, it means the wee Spaniard is going to have to play on the left. Oz looked like a man reborn yesterday. Shame on him for not playing like that before, but if playing him in the 10 spot is what it takes to unleash that talent, then by all means do it.

As for Santi, it's a shame as he's such a delightful playmaker and creative presence in the middle, but let's be fair, he's no bug-eyed Germanic wizard. His efforts on the left yesterday were crucial and of the two options, it's clear that the only way to get him involved is to play him there and let Ozil do his thing through the middle.

I fairly well destroyed my living room when I saw Ozil run into the clear for Welbeck's pass. That was the 2010 version of a player who has looked a bit bereft recently. His first touch was sublime, and the finish was so simple that I felt bad for my compatriot in the Villa net.

All I really want to say about this match is "More, please." More switched on defence, more Welbeck, more Ozil in the fashion we saw them. More energy, more intelligence, more effort, more simple finishing, more breaking from deep (as opposed to sideways passing around the box).

More like that. Just keep doing it. We'll all be happier if they do.

Switch to southpaw

The sequel is almost always worse than the first. That's some kind of rule that is only really proved by its exceptions: The Godfather Part 2, Rocky II, The Empire Strikes Back, Gremlins 2, Superman 2, The Wrath of Khan...

Each has its iconic moment--Michael kisses Fredo, Darth dares Luke to join him, Brain Gremlin referencing Susan Sontag, Zod telling Superman to kneel, and hell, Kirk screaming "KHAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!"

Today's story, however, is about that moment in Rocky II when Mickey demands that his big dopey stubborn fighter switch back to "southpaw," and how Rocky sits there and says "No tricks, I ain't switchin'!" 

Strategy, it seems, is always a tricky thing.

Mickey decided that Rocky's left-handed fighting style had become too predictable, and too easy to counter. He was a one-pace, one-tactic fighter and Apollo Creed could easily handle him.  A change was required.

Mickey went so far as to tie Rocky's right hand to his side in order to force him to learn to jab with his left. Suddenly, a left-handed fighter who had come so far in that style was now a right-hander, so much so that even the Italian Stallion himself couldn't bear to switch back to his natural style, deriding that as a "trick."

You see where I'm going with this.

For 7 years at Arsenal, M. Wenger achieved remarkable success that was founded on a strong defence and Patrick Vieira. I've never made a secret that I believe that PV4 was the greatest and most important player of Wenger's tenure as manager. That, however, is another story for another day.

Since the self-imposed destruction of the invincibles, Wenger shifted from that foundation--in a sense, he switched from fighting southpaw. He has no defence to speak of, and he certainly has no player comparable to Vieira, and he hasn't since 2008-09.

But beyond just personnel, that switch also includes a style of play, most notably in attack. In boxing, as in tennis, going up against a left-hander may be predictable, but it's also awkward. For the first part of Wenger's tenure at Arsenal, the style seemed to be based much more on quick and devastating attacks that capitalised on the movement and pace of players like Pires, Ljungberg, Henry, Bergkamp, and Vieira.

No player in the history of the Premier League started attacks like Vieira did. I don't care who you throw up in argument against that statement, there isn't one. People often compare Vieira and Roy Keane, which is fair enough, but in style they were completely different. Keane didn't break up an opponent's attack and then drive the ball forward in the same manner.

Vieira wasn't so much a defensive midfileder in the Makelele role as he was an engine for an entire side. He was at his most effective when playing alongside Petit or Gilberto Silva, players who could do the dirty work and impose themselves physically whilst PV4 launched another assault.

This is not to discount his tackling ability or how he could break up play because he was excellent at that, but for those who have come to know Arsenal since his departure, he shouldn't be classified as a "defensive mid."  He was a unique player in that he could defend and then easily start a counter attack from deep that could result in a shot on goal.

But Vieira represented the style of Arsenal back then--first it was the Graham hangover defenders behind him, then Wenger replaced them with 4 new players (more than 4, really, because he actually invested in defenders up until 2005), but no matter if it were Spunky and Tone or Jens and Big Sol, there was a solid structure back there that was fronted by strong mobile central midfielders.

That has to be classified as Wenger's southpaw phase.

But now? Wenger switched to fighting right-handed, with diminutive midfielders--most often five at a time--and a single "target man" up front. This is a style that is compounded by a very narrow attack through the middle, fullbacks who are most often almost standing on the opposition's end line, and centre halves who are positioned so high up the pitch that they are at or beyond the halfway line.

Since the end of the 2012-2013 season, when fate more or less forced him to finally adapt, Wenger sets out his teams to play the same way every minute of every match. Last season this cost Arsenal quite a few points that they surrendered from winning positions. Aston Villa, Swansea, Southamption, Everton--this represents 8 points that could have won Arsenal the league if Wenger had been willing to mix it up a bit.

I can't understand why, with trainer Mickey yelling in his face "Switch back to southpaw," Wenger persists with the same formation and tactics from minute 1 to minute 90+. It's fairly clear that everyone has this sussed. Care to mix it up, Arsene?

"No tricks, I ain't switchin'!"

It's a shame. This sequel (Arsene Knows Part 3) is looking much more like "The Matrix: Convoluted" than any of the ones I listed above. Welcome to Jaws 3D, without the camp Michael Caine to liven things up.

Broken

Not much to say about a performance as abject as Arsenal put in yesterday.

The bigger picture is that the club seem to be in trouble. Each match is punctuated by an injury, which is really unfortunate considering there is essentially no youth programme to call upon for reinforcements.

The question of tactics and the use of the squad ought to be called into question, along with the "inspiration and motivation" that a manager is supposed to provide. Does the formation get the most of the players?  Are the players being deployed in positions that best utilise their abilities?

Does the persistence with a high defensive line from the first minute to the last really give Arsenal the best chance to win? Can Arsenal find a way to widen the attack other than using the fullbacks to essentially abandon their defensive duties?  Is it wise to leave only 3 players to defend counterattacks, especially when two of them are Per Mertesacker and one of Arteta or Flamini?

In some ways, yesterday felt like the culmination of years of poor transfer window policy and misguided tactics, yet in some ways it simply felt like Groundhog Day. Nothing has really changed.

Arsenal have played 4 league matches and three Champions League matches. In seven competitive matches they've scored eight goals and conceded eight. They have no real identity at this point, based on those numbers.

They are neither an exciting, attacking force, nor are they a lock-down defensive machine capable of grinding out results. To be fair, they resemble a mid-table side. A bit boring on both ends of the pitch, neither all sheets to the wind in attack nor biting and bitter in defence.

After the FA Cup final I wrote that I didn't want Wenger to return as manager. I listed three areas--transfer policy, in-game tactics, and inspiration/preparation--where I thought he had failed. Of course that was the primary reason I didn't want him back--I didn't think Arsenal could win the league with him in charge.

My loyalty is to the club and has been since I started following Arsenal, back before I even knew who Wenger was. So my first thought was, it's best for the club if he goes. But at the same time I do appreciate what he did and has done for Arsenal and I didn't want it to come to this.

I didn't want it to come to the point where people are shouting and angry and wishing he'd be fired. What if he had simply left after winning the FA Cup?  A true feel good moment to cap off a legendary career would have been the best way to exit. Many people who had grown weary of him could have forgiven his faults and saluted him.

Instead, now, I'm afraid it can only end one way.  Arsenal are broken right now, and the blame for that can only be placed with Wenger. When even the Irish blogger names him and says it's Wenger's responsibility, you know the situation is dire.

Were this not Arsenal, and there were no such thing as "the Arsenal way," and this hadn't been going on for years, Wenger might well be given his P45 before this crucial stretch of league matches. But this is Arsenal, and that won't happen. Sadly, I'm afraid it won't happen until after this season, which will be a season that will end in disappointment and failure for the club.

At that point, Wenger will probably leave in disgrace when it could've all ended in glory last spring. Shameful, that, for everyone involved.

Europe for Europe's sake

In 2000 I was working for a multi-national company based in Atlanta, Georgia and was lucky enough to have a boss who had lived in England for a while and understood and tolerated my love of Arsenal.

At the time, there was basically one football pub in the entire city that would show live matches--which back then meant paying a hefty satellite subscription price as no USA-based TV networks/sports channels were showing football on a regular basis.  This place, the Brewhouse Cafe in Little 5 Points, was run by an ex-pat Aussie who understood the value of cultivating a loyal client base of football fans.

The 2000 Uefa Cup final was the first Arsenal match I was able to watch live. My boss excused me from the afternoon's work and when I got to the pub there were equal numbers of Turks and Englishmen there, the owner with the good sense to divide the place in half and sent opposing fans to opposite sides.

This was, of course, weeks after two Leeds supporters had been stabbed to death in Istanbul and to say that tensions were running high in the place would be a ridiculous understatement. I sat at the bar and watched the match with a couple of other Yanks who didn't seem to have an allegiance to one side or the other. Having gone straight from work, I wasn't wearing anything to identify me as an Arsenal supporter, so I suppose that's why I wasn't instructed to join them.

My excitement at finally getting to watch my team play live quickly devolved into gut-wrenching tension and ultimately heartbreak. Arsenal simply couldn't score or make anything of any chances, and then in extra time Galatasaray went down to 10 men and the Gunners still couldn't find a way through. Henry and Kanu couldn't beat their keeper, and then came the failure in the penalty shootout.

My mind was fairly reeling at the prospect of being an Arsenal supporter amongst others when the Turks began jumping on the tables and chanting and the English ex-pats trudged out muttering curses under their breath. "So this is Europe," I thought.

Arsenal used to go into these competitions with a legitimate chance to win--and I say "used to" meaning since I began following the club in 1996 and Wenger arrived. The loss to Valencia in the Champions League in 2001 ranks as one of the most painful in my time as an Arsenal supporter, because in all the years that Wenger has been qualifying for the competition, that was the one that seemed set up for the Gunners to go all the way.

Of course the inability to score in the second leg of the quarter final and a late John Carew header meant that Arsenal wouldn't get to face Leeds in the semis or a very average Bayern in the final. Valencia weren't that good, and misfiring Arsenal couldn't capitalise.

A few more years and a few more trips into the latter stages followed, including the miraculous journey to the final in 2006 and the embarrassing semi-final capitulation to MUFC in 2009 (that preceded the infamous Nikky Bendtner "pants out!" night).  Since then, however, the norm has been to simply qualify for the competition, hope for the best, and go out in the round of 16.

I've wondered if Arsenal supporters look at the Champions League the way that most of the clubs in the Premier League look at winning that title--we're here to make up numbers, and being in the top flight is certainly preferable to anything else, but we entertain no illusions about winning the whole thing.

This is one of the reasons I don't really give a toss about Europe any more, other than being able to lord it over THFC that we're there and they're not. Could anyone in his right mind expect Arsenal to win the Champions League this year? Wenger didn't even buy enough defenders to compete domestically, much less slog all the way to winning the big cup.

Qualifying for the Champions League has become an end unto itself, just like "Premier League survival" has for clubs like Stoke City. They know they're not going to hoist the trophy at the end, just as Arsenal supporters surely can't believe that they'll see Arteta lift the big silver cup next spring.

Knowing this, is it possible to even get excited about playing in Europe anymore?  What is the measurement of success for Arsenal?  Has it too been lowered to simply finishing second in the group and losing to a "big club" in the first knockout round?

As finishing fourth in the league has been elevated to trophy status because of nothing more than revenue, getting out of the group stage has been elevated to a trophy for the same reason. As a supporter, am I supposed to cheer fiscal results over match scores?

Europe is a fleeting dream for a club with only 5 fit experienced defenders. Can you write an entire column or blog post about that, and where the club are right now, without saying the name "Arsene Wenger?" The Irish blogger has. What a shame that this is what has happened to our hopes and aspirations for Arsenal.

So here's to another season in Europe's top flight. Pat yourselves on the back, Arsenal. You're now the Stoke City of the continent.

It just isn't funny anymore

The 2008-09 edition of the Arsenal Football Club managed a 21-match unbeaten run. Do you remember those heady times?

That team was utter garbage on a hot plate. They matched both MUFC and Chelsea with 68 goals scored (Liverpool led the league with 77 goals, had a goal differential of 50, and still finished second) but conceded 37, 13 more than the champions.

I don't know what the excuses being made for that team were, or how their 4th place finish was spun into gold. I've spent much of the last 6 years trying to forget those players.

What has always stuck with me, however, is how that team managed to go 21 games unbeaten. From matchday 15 to matchday 35, Arsenal didn't lose. And in all that time, Arsenal managed to climb all the way from 5th to 4th. Astonishing, ain't it?

At one point in that run, there were four dour 0-0 draws in a row.

Was the spin "Hey, you know how tough it is to beat West Ham at the Grove!" or "You know how tough Sunderland are at the Grove!" or something else?  I've no idea. Back then there were no club-sponsored bloggers pumping hot air into the multiverse trying to hide the fact that Wenger had put together a "Wizard of Oz" squad--No brains, no courage, no heart.

So far this season we've heard "Hey, you know how tough it is to go to Goodison and win, so under the circumstances a draw was a great result!"

This was followed by "Hey, you saw how tough the Foxes played Everton, so to go there and get a point without the extremely vital Olivier Giroud is a great result!"

Now we're hearing "Hey, you know how tough City are, so to hold them to a draw at the Grove is a great result! Oh and Wilshere scored, and so did Sanchez, so it was a great result!"

In the meantime, Wenger is down to 5 defenders. But don't worry, the spin merchants are working their magic, telling you that "It's not a bone break, so that proves that Wenger's transfer policy is fantastic!" Or better yet, the Irish fellow is using the classic "we" and "our" to describe the paucity of options at the back.

How about this for some NO spin--

Two classic Wenger schoolboy errors led to the two City goals. Simple counterattack employed against a nonsensical high defensive line gifted them the first, then the same lapse on a free kick that we saw against such esteemed opposition as Hull City and New York Red Bulls gave them the second.

Once again, points squandered from a winning position, as they were last season time and again against Villa, Southampton, Swansea, Everton...but hey, you know how tough Villa are at the Grove, so...

Why are we supposed to believe that this is any different than any of the seasons since a decade ago when Wenger won his last league title?  Are the mistakes going to magically disappear?  Is the squandering of points going to stop? Will Hayden or Bellerin magically become trusted first team defenders?  Will Gibbs miraculously stay healthy?

For all the Irish man's jokes, for all of Mr. Rational Yank Stats Man's obfuscation through jargon and numbers, there is a problem at Arsenal. The problem starts at the top.

The mistakes and lack of composure haven't suddenly materialised, nor can they all be blamed on Lukas Podolski (or now Mesut Ozil). I wish the bloggers who have been bought by the club, or the Wenger-lovers (as opposed to those who actually love the club more than one person) would shake up the world and place the blame where it belongs for once.

Placing loyalty to Wenger above the club is a mistake. Making jokes about the games or about the fact that Arsene Wenger actually believed Yaya Sanogo is a Premier League quality striker isn't appropriate.

Your jokes aren't funny anymore, nor are your excuses. Wenger has failed once again--this time by not buying adequate defensive cover. If you can come back to me and say that Wenger has put together a squad that can challenge for the title, I won't laugh anymore. I'll simply tell you that your jest isn't funny.

When A**blog met 11amkickoff

SCENE: A lovely home somewhere in Ireland. 

A disheveled man is sitting at a computer, laughing at his writing. 

Irish man: Ha ha, that's fookin brilliant stuff there, I combined a reference to Phil Collins, John Terry, and pus-filled yak testicles!

(loud knock at the door)

What the fook?  Who is buggering at my door at this time of the day?  Go kill them, a**dog!

(A large German Shepherd dog rolls over and goes back to sleep.)

Fookin hellspawn of Sepp Blatter! Fine, I'll go get it myself.

(opens door)

Well, as I live and breathe the gassy emissions of Frank Stapleton, if it isn't my American best friend, 11amkickoff! What brings you to Ireland, you pedantic arsehole?

Yank blogger: Oh, come on A**blog, you know Arsenal pay for all my travel! I just thought it would be a great time for the two of us to get together and discuss the transfer window and how we'll polish this turd into something wonderful. I've brought 3,000 pages of charts and analysis showing how Danny Welbeck delivers more key passes per 90 minutes of deliberate gibberish than Lionel Messi.

Irish man: Well, hmm...I actually drank 9 litres of whiskey last night and haven't had my bacon yet, but I suppose you can come in. And if the club thinks it's important that we get together, then by the low-hanging bollox of Bob Wilson, I'm in! I do everything the club tells me.

Yank blogger: Oh, I know! You and I are so far up the club's rectum that it would take 9,000 pages of statistical analysis to get us out! (pauses for laughter that is not forthcoming)

So A**blog, as you know, we've really got our work cut out for us this time. I'm having a difficult time spinning this transfer window as the greatest ever. I mean, I've been having to write love letters about how "footballistically" Arsene did great things a decade ago just because I can't get enough boring statistics to obfuscate the obvious.  If I can't convince the American Arsenal supporters that Wenger is perfect and that everything that's happening at the club is not his fault, there could be a full on rebellion!

Irish man: Ha ha! Yeah, you've got it rough. All I have to do is replace "Arsene Wenger" with "we" in my blogs that are even slightly critical and nobody even notices. I mean, they think if A**blog says it's all about "us" then people forget that Wenger even manages the club.

But you, with all that tedious "rational" bullshit you claim to produce, you've really got to work hard. Pretty fucking stupid, if you ask me, but then again, you Yanks do tend to go overboard.

Yank blogger: Please, this hasn't been easy. The club expects me to keep the positive spin out there, and then I'm supposed to make up charts that show how Nacho is a better defender than Marcel Desailly by using something called "indefinite interceptions via the outer extremities per non-consecutive 30 minute segments."

It's gotten so bad that I've been considering just not blogging at all after the transfer window closes and using my kid as an excuse. Have you seen how I do that? When things are particularly horrible, like when Wenger's teams drop 22 of 33 points, I write about my kid and how we do stuff and how that makes me better than everybody else. I'm a genius.

Irish man: Well, maybe Yanks go for that sentimental manipulative bullshit, but all I have to do is fire up the "random infected animal" generator and people don't even notice that the club is going to shit before their eyes. Let me show you--

(walks to computer, opens up website, clicks on "generate" button)

A ha! See, if Arsenal lose by 5 goals, I just trot out "Scabies-ridden wombat" and people laugh and nobody gives a damn. The club love it when I do that.

Yank blogger: Well, I was thinking, see, the reason the club public relations people wanted us to get together face to face was to come up with a unified strategy. I mean this time it's even bigger than when we all got together and did the smear campaign against Podolski last spring and then he scored 4 goals in 2 matches. This time, it's got to appear that the fact that the club bought no defenders or a defensive midfielder is down to completely random circumstances, and that nobody anywhere is blame.

Irish man: Look, I've already told you my strategy. I'm good on the slating Podolski, I'm good on pretending that Sanogo is a footballer, and I'm good on distracting people from blaming Wenger by both pumping hot air into our opponents and never using Wenger's name unless it's praising him.  And then I make jokes, loads of jokes.

You, on the other hand, you decided that the best way to manipulate your readers was by pretending that you use "rational analysis" to come to the conclusion that Wenger is blameless and that every player at the club is perfect. I gotta tell you, lad--that's a losing cause.

Yank blogger: Tell me about it! I'm dying! The club is already all over me about taking the week after the transfer window closed and going into hiding. I'm the one who is supposed to show that Joel Campbell is the worst player ever in comparison to Sanogo! I'm supposed to produce stats that pretend that Kim Kallstrom actually was the reason Arsenal won the FA Cup last year!  I'm gonna have to adopt another kid or something.

Irish man: Ok, well, then, just follow my lead on this one. I'll keep saying things like "Podolski is terrible" and never mention Giroud and how three weeks ago we were all saying that the club will never win without Giroud in there, then I'll talk up Welbeck as the best striker in Europe (conveniently forgetting Giroud was that just days before), then I'll make excuses for how difficult it is to buy a defender and a defensive midfielder, and I'll only mention Wenger's name when I'm talking about how he has a master plan for everything.

Yank blogger: OK, I'll just support everything you say with some bullshit stats that mean nothing and mix in a few more "tributes" to Wenger right at the moment that he seems to have completely forgotten how to manage. I bet I can even come up with some that say that since February of 2013 this Arsenal defence is better than any in the history of football anywhere.

Irish man: Very good. Now please get the hell out of my house.

Yank blogger: Gladly. Your dog has been making love to my leg for the last ten minutes and you didn't even say anything.

Irish man: I bet you could produce some stats and charts about that, you insufferable nerd.