Absolutely nothing

Before the shattering events of the Tet Offensive, United States General William Westmoreland famously stated that the USA had "turned a corner" in Vietnam.

D'oh!!!

It's been an interesting two weeks on planet Arsenal. A whipping at the hands of "the old enemy" in the Potteries followed by the glory of a dead rubber in Turkey and a training ground exercise against Newcastle, and lastly the most benevolent CL draw in years. What to make of it all?

Absolutely nothing.

But first, a public service announcement:

To the Rational Stats Blogger Yank--I think, maybe, you're having a bit of trouble seeing and hearing because of the location of your head. You may want to remove it from Wenger's rectum at some point because I fear you may be suffocated.

According to the establishment bloggers, it's wrong to barrack Wenger ever, because more than a decade ago he ended a run of 3 league titles in seven years. This means he can't be yelled at. This also means that when he is yelled at. we're supposed to remember that "nobody else could have done what he did when the club moved grounds."

NOBODY! DO YE HEAR ME?  NOBODY EVER ANYWHERE COULD HAVE GUIDED ARSENAL TO WHERE THEY FINISHED OVER THE PAST DECADE! 

I certainly never tire of that old saw.  No, it never gets old that these establishment bloggers have a magical window into every possible scenario where another manager is in charge of Arsenal and fails to finish fourth. I wish I had one of those, I'd use it for betting on horses instead of telling people that Arsene Wenger is infallible.

Now back to the actual blog.

Let's recap: In Istanbul. Podolski scored but it's meaningless because the match was meaningless, except for those who use it to say that Wenger is a great manager, but they say that Poldi sucks. So I can't sort it--when we talk about a player that isn't one of Wenger's pets, we must say that the match was meaningless. But when we talk about Wenger, must say it proves he's a masterful leader.

George Orwell loves you, bitches! #doublethink4Life

Then an oddly subdued Newcastle United, led by a strangely complimentary Alain Pardeux, fall at the first hurdle to an Arsenal driven by Olivier Giroud--which again proves that Wenger is a genius and anyone who hooted at him at the train in Stoke is a cunt. Right? That's what I've heard, anyway.

I was surprised by the Newcastle match, except that I wasn't. The establishment bloggers will tell you that it means something, that it's significant, that this is Wenger at his best, that all is well, and that you should remain calm and drink this fruit-flavoured red drink they're handing you.

They'll tell you that Giroud is amazing, they'll tell you to ignore the points haul and the results against teams like Leicester and Stoke and Spuds and Swansea. I have a bit of a problem with that.

If there's one thing you can discern from the last three Arsenal matches, it's that you can't discern anything. It is meaningless. When Arsenal went 3-0 up against the Magpies, I said "I bet Newcastle score now." And of course they did. It wasn't a moment of individual brilliance or tactical awareness, it was sloppy defending and a schoolboy error that gave them their toehold back in the match.

Am I being churlish? It depends on how you view things, I suppose. If you think Wenger is perfect and above reproach, you probably think I am. If you write 2000 words telling supporters why he should never, ever, ever be criticised, then I'm sure you think I am. 

The truth is that under Wenger, every match is a coin flip. They can drop 2 points to the worst team in the league or deliver a stylish beatdown to the team that saved the Invincibles. They can be humiliated by a side that lost at home to Burnley, or "bravely" draw with the MCFC billionaires.

So attempting to infer anything, or use any result as a reason to say that Arsenal have "turned a corner," is meaningless. And that is exactly why I'm over Wenger as the gaffer. A decent manager would have this side fighting each and every week for every possible point. Arsenal don't do that. So Arsenal don't have a decent manager anymore.

Fucking Leicester City, people!!!!

As for the Champions League draw, we are collectively somewhat relieved that it wasn't...insert name of better team managed by a competent manager here, convinced that this too has meaning.

Think about that for a moment--our manager is so shit that we actively hoped we wouldn't face a "better" club. But when you're dominated by Stoke and humbled by Leicester and Hull, what exactly is a better club? Anderlicht? I mean it. Why exactly were you hopeful that it was Monaco?

Because you have been conditioned to believe that Arsenal don't stand a chance against "big" clubs. You suffer from the doublethink--Arsenal are a big club that can sign players like Ozil and Sanchez, but Arsenal need to hide from Bayern and Madrid.

Proud of yourselves?

You fear that no matter which of the powerhouse clubs Arsenal may have faced, they would have been destroyed in the first leg because of the manager's inability to set the team out in a manner that would give them a chance to win.

You fear that. Imagine how the players feel!

So who knows how the tie with the principality will go? Nobody. Not you, not myself, and not the establishment bloggers with their magic windows. If Arsenal can stick 4 past the side that vanquished Chelsea, they can just as easily play like shit against Swansea or Hull or Leicester.

That's why this week means absolutely nothing. Come on you Gunners.