What is this phenomenon we see thanks to the ubiquity of twitter? twitter has created a two-headed monster. One head claims to know everything, or hints to know everything, or hints to know something. The other head does nothing but oppose the first while proudly claiming to know nothing at all.
At this point in the nascent 2013 summer transfer epic, Arsenal have done f*** all. It's early yet, right? Or is it? Is it actually mid-game? Is it late? Is it all over already?
But this isn't about Arsenal's transfers. Why? Because, while I am neither head one nor head two, I really don't know anything at all about Arsenal's business. It's not a match where I can sit and cheer for someone, so it doesn't really captivate my interest. And even if I did "know something" today, it wouldn't be worth a damned thing until the actual moment Arsenal announce the player is signed or sold.
What I find amusing is that with the advent of twitter, some people are able to purport to be "in the know" and derive some bizarre thrill in setting the world (literally the world of football, from twitter to "proper journos") ablaze by claiming special knowledge about a particular manouever. This is funny. Before twitter, how could any regular Joe or Jill do such a thing? We all knew the tosser sitting at the end of the bar in the pub, talking out his hole about how we should just wait and see the big signing on the way. That was his twitter. His blather probably never found its way onto the BBC.
Yet, in the face of such nonsensical pronouncements now finding footing among the world of proper reportage, a new group has arisen. These people fancy themselves the guardians of credible information. They don't actually HAVE any of that information, they're just keeping watch in case something incredible comes along. These brave souls stand atop the barricades they've assembled and point defiantly at every rumour-peddler: "You!" they shout. "You there! STOP SAYING YOU KNOW ANYTHING! YOU CAN'T KNOW ANYTHING! NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING! QUITE LITERALLY NOBODY ANYWHERE HAS ANY KNOWLEDGE OF ANYTHING AT ALL! AND I WILL EXPOSE YOU AS THE FRAUD THAT YOU ARE!" And on, and on, and on it goes. Since these gallant few don't have the inside information, they KNOW one thing: that nobody else can have any either!
These are the people that really amuse me more than the "ITK" types. They will painstakingly deconstruct every rumour and end it with "until the player is signed, nobody knows anything." My question is, since you admit you know nothing, how do you actually know who knows something? How do you KNOW that John Cross absolutely doesn't know something? I particularly like "Everything in the paper is fiction." Really?
So instead of being an "ITK" about some juicy bit of transfer minutiae, what they're really saying is that they're "ITK" about what's NOT true, that they have the inside information about how wrong John Cross is. How they know this, I don't know. So who knows? And how does this make the denouncer any more credible than the one he's denouncing? You don't know who John Cross or anybody else talks to, so my advice to you would be to shut your self-righteous holes.
Here's my suggestion: Ignore the rumour-peddlers, ignore those spending time denouncing them, and have a cold beverage. It's going to be a very warm summer. I'm lucky enough to have cricket to keep me distracted. Thankfully there's no ICC transfer window. But I did hear an interesting rumour about a certain spin bowler...just follow me on twitter for all the latest...
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