Tuesday, January 20, 2015

4 for the future


The balloon remains full today after the "famous victory" over the reigning champions at their place. Just a few thoughts about 4 players who were so important on Sunday.

1. Ospina

So I have a theory about Ospina and his purchase and arrival at the Arsenal. And it's that Wenger bought him knowing that Szcz is immature.

I don't think Ospina was bought to "just be cover." He was a solid, established no. 1 for club and country and I just can't see his agent and him agreeing to a move to Arsenal so that he could sit and play cup matches. I think that Wenger knew that Szcz was always going to do something immature and foolish and he wanted a reliable no. 1 to step in.

Smoking in the boys room, really?

Having watched Ospina play for his country quite a bit, being the lynchpin of a Colombian side that really tore through CONMEBOL prior to last year's World Cup Finals, I knew of him. I thought he was an excellent shot stopper but not that great at claiming crosses. At "only" 6 foot tall he has always had a perceived liability in the air and different to most of Wenger's preferred keepers. But he is quite athletic and also quite different to Szcz in that his confidence is much more quiet and calm.

My theory, conspiratorial obviously, is that Ospina was always going to be the new Arsenal no. 1. Wenger didn't want to just demote Szcz but I think he always knew that a moment would--would, not could--come when he would have to deal with the player's immaturity.

Is Szcz done at Arsenal? I don't know. Ospina is only 26. It's not like he's an old man. And keepers, as you well know, are an odd lot. No "first team" keeper is happy being a backup. Being a reserve keeper is a profession just like being a plumber or a carpenter. You have to dedicate yourself to it and accept that it's not ever going to be any different. I can't see Ospina playing that role.

2. Hector Bellerin

In my nitrous-fueled postmatch delirium Sunday, I compared the little Spaniard to Nigel Winterburn. Ok, ok, calm down now.

But I don't think that comparison is that far off in terms of what I've seen from Bellerin. The best thing I can say about him? He's obviously a professional fullback. He doesn't offer the thrust going forward that others might and do we even know if he's a good crosser of the ball?  Not sure.

But my Buddha, did he not put in a heroic shift against Citeh? He was everywhere. His nullification of the Blues' left flank was absolutely stunning. He plays so much bigger than his frame suggests. I actually used to worry about him being bullied but the way he ran the rule over James Milner was as great as any I've ever seen a player turn in wearing the cannon crest.

The reason I compare him to Winterburn--who is my favourite Arsenal player ever--is that his industry (to me anyway) outstrips what you think he might do, and his toughness and willingness to get stuck in and run his hole off just bring our old number 3 to mind. Unfair comparison? I don't think so. I know he's young and he'll have his ups and downs but I would make him right back and leave him there.

3. Santi Cazorla

"Pulling the strings" is the phrase I keep reading about what Santi did on Sunday. All I want to say is that it was so much more than that. It's...his joy.

He loves playing football. He just seems to love it so much that it infects the other players. He's the perfect marriage of desire and ability that you want in a footballer. He does every single thing with an abandon and happiness that you so rarely see from millionaire jerkoff knobhead footballers anymore.

I love when he walks over to one of the other players and says "Ok ok" in that way that he has, that way that seems to both calm everyone and reassure them. I never worry about anything when Santi has the ball at his feet. Remember in his first season when he did the famous "1-2" with himself? He's magical.

I hate to say that because I know it's not fair to him, but I really, really believe that the team is so much better with him in it, again not just because of his talent but because the other players feed off his positive attitude. And if there's one thing that Arsenal currently always need, it's positivity.

4. Le Coq

Much has been written in the past 2 days about the amazing display that Le Coq put in versus MCFC, and much of it has been said in a tone of astonishment. And I don't understand that.

Before that fucking stupid smelly maggot-infested cunt Ramires stamped on him, Le Coq was starting to establish himself as a tough, mobile, necessary defensive mid. That moment made me so angry.

Coquelin had 2 seasons of football stolen from him in that moment. Every Gooner I know was very excited about him before then.

I think the lad is the answer. I'm sorry, I do. I don't think you need to run out and splash 30 million quid on someone (Schneiderlin?) in transfer fees and massive wages when you have someone who has the positional awareness and toughness that Le Coq has.  He disrupted Citeh's intentions time and time again on Sunday and actually he's been doing that and actually he did that before he was injured against Chelsea.

The thing I always say about players is "Do you have the capacity for what is needed?" Not that you'll always be 100%, but can you do the job when required.

I think Arsenal have accidentally stumbled into these four players who have that capacity. I really like all four of them. They're not flash. They're much more graft than glamour. And I like that. I really really want that in my Arsenal teams.

Think about it--were it not for injuries or happenstance, Arsenal might not have Ospina in goal, Le Coq in front of the defence, Bellerin on the right, and Santi as the ostensible number 10. I almost feel like Sunday was the happiest accident that ever happened to Arsenal.

For all his massive talent, PV4 was known as a hard worker. Dixon, Winterburn, Adams, Keown, Bouldy, Petit, Parlour, DB10, TH14, Lauren, Gilberto Silva--every one of them had a reputation as a tough-minded and hard working player.

Arsenal have been through some tough times in recent years with players who didn't always put in the required shift. But these four seem to bring exactly that.

I think of all the wonderful things about Sunday that I enjoyed, it was that effort and hard work that I loved the most. It reminded me of when I first started following the club. More, please.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

2nd.Best.Day.Ever.

My best day ever as an Arsenal supporter was and always will be the day that Arsenal won the league at Old Trafford in 2002. Sat in a pub in Amsterdam, the only Gooner in the place, leaping out of my chair like a madman when Wiltord and Ljungberg conspired to score "that goal," suddenly looking around at all the shaved heads around me and convinced I would be knifed at any second--it is perhaps the greatest moment in my life as a fan of sport. And how could it not be?

Arsenal had been pipped for the title for 3 consecutive years by United and the narrative was that they were bottlers who played fancy football but came up empty. And at that moment, all the pain of losing the title, losing to the Scouse cunnys in the FA Cup due to their cheating us, losing to Valencia on that John Carew header when the damn big cup should have been ours--it all melted away.

"The simple fact is, Manchester United have to score twice to stop Arsenal taking the title."
What a moment it was.

Watch it. Just watch that glorious moment when Freddie stings the palms of Barthez and Wiltord is there to pounce. You may not have even been following Arsenal at that time but just like Alan Sunderland's goal or Charlie George, you get to share in it if you love the Arsenal.

Charlie George--Everybody deserves a Charlie George moment in his or her life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm_KEbd4rEY

Alan Sunderland--the divine afro! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYXKwBy4_Fg

I've been following the Arsenal Football Club since 1996. It has been 19 years of ups and downs, highs and lows. I don't know of too many Yanks who have been with them that long. And of late, I've been so unhappy with things that I've turned openly rebellious against the gaffer and the "majority shareholder." I've missed the cigar-smoking presence of PHW and the smug grin of David Dein. I've just wished that PV4 would stride onto the pitch and kick the shite out of someone for old time's sake.

I have accrued some amazing memories. Marc Overmars. Tony Adams. Nigel Winterburn. DB10. TH14. "It's only Ray Parlour."

"He gave Ryan Giggs the ball. And Arsenal won fuck all!" I was there for that one.

Freddie's goal against Chelsea in the 2002 FA Cup Final.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcE2RCKXK7I

Or maybe this one--remember our old pal Marty Keown? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1dfphE6jOs Or look at PV4 and Keane? Seen it? Remember it? Edu talking shit to Crissie Ronaldo? What a moment. What an incredible moment to be a fan of a football club. I'll never forget it ever.

PV4's spot kick in 2005. I was there for it all.

Well I want to say something now that I've established my credentials.

Today was my second favourite day ever as an Arsenal supporter. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget the moment that Nacho was awarded a penalty from "the old enemy" ref. I'll never forget Alexis winning that free kick and OG's header. I'll never forget the incredibly brave performance of five players:
Hector Bellerin
Per Mertesacker
Koz
Nacho
Le Coq

I don't even know what to say at this moment. I was like a madman after the match. I was yelling and screaming and talking so loud that I forget everything. I didn't know where I was or what I was doing.

All I could see was Bellerin charging around like a little terrier, like a Spanish Nigel Winterburn. Or Per and Koz doing such heroic work when they both seemed completely about to go arse over tit. Or Nacho going to Ospina and saying "Lo siento" when he accidentally intercepted a ball and jacked it completely over the goal. Or Le Coq looking like that boy we remember from before "THE WORST GUY EVER" stamped on him and essentially stole 2 years of his career.

Christ on a cross wasn't Coq amazing? He...just never, ever fucking stopped. He was everywhere. He never put a foot wrong.

Aaron Ramsey was the beautiful midfield general we love. Santi Cazorla was--well, he was special. And Alexis? My god. That man can play some football, eh?

I got to tell my future mum-in-law to shove it today. Not bad.

I'll say nothing churlish about this game's implications for the rest of the season. All I want to say is--

In the nearly 20 years I've been following the Arsenal, this is my second favourite day ever. Ever. They stood up. Even with a makeshift back 5 (six if you count Le Coq), they kept a clean sheet. They fought. They were clean. They were organised. They were tight.

They stopped Aguero and Silva and Jovetic and Dzeko (all players that I have sincerely coveted for wearing an Arsenal shirt over the past few years). They stopped them stone fucking cold.

What a beautiful day. What a great day to be an Arsenal supporter. I am so happy I feel like I might burst or just float away.

2-nil to the Arsenal. What a wonderful thing.


Saturday, January 17, 2015

Arsene Wenger: The Cuntabulous Cuntologist Who Has Cunted Up Every Cunting Thing On Earth

I write this missive at 02:39 in the blessed morning from the United States of America whilst watching "La Nozze di Figaro." By choice? Eh. I suppose.

I am in love with a girl from Manchester whose mother is a Citeh supporter.

How do you suppose THAT feels?

I'm sick of Arsene Wenger. I'm just fucking tired of him and his act. Why am I writing that now? Because I'm watching a Mozart opera and it's just pissing me the fuck off because Mozart was a genius who became a cunt.

Genius? Sure. Cunt? Undeniably.

Fuck you, Wenger. Fuck you for not buying the players the club needs. Fuck you and your shite tactics. Fuck you for your massive, unending, all-encompassing ego. Christ, fuck you, really.

Why have you not bought a defender?

"Well we are looking for a player but he must be the right player at the right price and must be exactly correctly suited for playing within our system and he must be super super quality and he must be technically sound but he must be the right player because so many teams are in the market and it is not easy and I am a genius and spirit quality determination a little bit handbrake and I thought we were a little bit jaded and I did not see it and this is FIFA/Uefa's fault and we will appeal the suspension and perhaps you know more than I know but I have been managing since before I was born and..."

Christ would you shut the fuck up and get the fucking job done?

My future mother-in-law is going to give me so much shit on Sunday.

Because Mozart Wenger, the genius, has morphed into a cunt. A big stupid ego-driven cunt who can't do anything because he's obsessed with himself and won't change or be even the least bit flexible.

Who here actually thought that Wenger was going to do something different? I hope nobody. Because if you did, I have an e-mail from a Nigerian prince that I'd like to forward to you.

"Dear Friend, I am a football manager in England and I promise you that I will properly manage the Arsenal Football Club's transfer business if you will simply forward me three diminutive attacking midfielders..."

I'm so sick of it.

Cunt off to France and stop cunting up my football club!