Welcome back. I've missed you so.

Hmm. Where to begin?

With the thrashing the USA endured at the hands of Mexico? No, please.

With Contador basically saying that Lance Armstrong is a dick? Not if I can avoid it.

With KP being unfit for The Ashes? How could I miss him if he won't go away? Well, now he's gone. Hello, Ian Bell. Bell has struggled. Bell has shown impatience. Bell, if I may offer, sounds quite a bit like KP.

Then that leaves me with the Arsenal Football Club selling two players (one in attack, one in defence) for what appears to be around 40 million quid. Oh dear.

What would Arsene Wenger want to do with that much money? Right now, I have one thing to suggest: Even if you must overpay, get Hangeland from Fulham. Get him. It's imperative. Donkey Silvestre is not CB cover. NOT AT ALL. Never do that again, mmmkay? Get Hangeland. From what I hear, Tommy V. got hurt today. Of course. You sell Toure, and V. gets knocked out of the game. That's the Arsenal way.

I hated to see Kolo go, in one sense, because he's an Arsenal man and Gallas is not. But Gallas is better as of now, and this is an unsentimental business.

Wenger turned a massive profit on this transfer. I don't think that's enough. Just saying that it happened doesn't change the fact that the squad still needs some quality players in it. It's tempting to look at this moment as the barometer of just where the club sees itself. If some of this money is invested in two more quality players, it sees itself as a championship contender. If none of it is, at least in the summer, then it sees itself as scrambling for fourth and settling for that. It's really that simple. 40 million pounds is a lot of brass.

A giant bag of suck, A giant bag of greatness

And so it was just not meant to be.

If Watson had done it, it would have been the greatest thing in sport in my lifetime. Nothing I have known in any sport could have compared to it. And I suppose he knew that, too, and it overwhelmed him. So he blasted that second shot at 18 with all the delicate touch of a Bavarian butcher. And I felt it slip away then. I wanted him to do it so that I could say I witnessed something unthinkable. I was gutted when he couldn't do it. I can't even begin to imagine what he is feeling now.

It's difficult to even offer congratulations to Stewart Cink, who is a good bloke who once suffered a loss in a major that I thought would haunt him forever. Southern Hills had to eat away at him. He played much of the last 8 years like it did. I was convinced he would collapse because of that, and he didn't. He focused and did the business. I put it this way after it was over: Watson has 8 majors and would be considered one of the greatest ever if hadn't even played the weekend. But Stewart Cink? A guy that just couldn't get it done. Now that has changed, Southern Hills begone, and he is a major champion. That makes losing history a bit more tolerable. A bit.
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Then there's history of a different kind. England had not beaten Australia at Lord's since (get ready) 1934. And now they have, and in a dominating fashion so decidedly un-English that it boggles the mind. Strauss confidently declared. England's bowlers attacked early and despite the double-century pairing of Clarke and Haddin, took advantage of the new ball and took 4 wickets in the span of 75 overs, and then won the damn test by 115 runs! In the first innings, Anderson & Onions were dominant. In the second, it was Swanny and Freddy Flintoff in what will now become a legendary performance. Now that brave batting spell from the tail at Cardiff seems even more important.

And what's more, England can win The Ashes. Not bad. Not bad at all.

More of the same, in a good way

I just don't know what to think about England. Today was fraught with cheaply given wickets, paralysingly slow runs/overs ratios, and a 521 run lead at stumps. Doesn't it kill, when you see ridiculous batting for hours, then 181 runs in 31.2 overs, then tossing away two more wickets in the final 9 overs of the day? FFS. England.

There's only one question: How long do England wait tomorrow to declare? Can they get 79 runs in the morning? Damn those last two wickets. Really. If they can average 5 runs/over, it would be around 16 overs needed. That's assuming the tail can survive. (They batted roughly 4.4 today.)

Today was excruciating. Ravi and KP, having been chastened before, decided to start playing it conservative AT EXACTLY THE TIME THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THE OPPOSITE. I'm sorry, it's pure hindsight, but when they ought to have been defensive, they were profligate, and when they needed to take risks, they were grinding. It was maddening. So when the two of them were (mercifully) dismissed, Colly, Prior, and Freddy combined for 145 (Freddy not out; the other two shitting the proverbial bed in the final 9 overs).

Strauss thought that the pitch was conducive so he chose not to enforce the follow-on after brilliant English bowling. Seriously--we can call it that; it was. I think he chose wisely so far, but England must get runs tomorrow if he chooses not to declare. This was dull cricket, but then again, it was more or less effective. It's against my nature to be critical of England when they're clinical, mostly because they never are.

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Adebayor is finally, and officially, gone. Thank Buddha. And no, he is not comparable to Anelka. Anelka was a footballer.

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It is not beyond reason that a near 60-year old man could win The Open. Think about that for a moment. Seriously, think about that.

If he does it--and I seriously believe he can, because he is a tough-minded bastard--it will be the greatest accomplishment in sport in my lifetime. I am struggling to come to grips with that thought. This man, who played in the longest shadow ever cast in golf, might win a major championship, THE major championship, at an age when most geezers are duffing it at the local muni. As follows is a post I wrote elsewhere; it sums up my feelings about Tom Watson:

I'm sick of hearing comparisons to Norman last year.

Does Greg Norman have 8 major titles?

Is Greg Norman one of the greatest links players ever?

Is Greg Norman known as one of the toughest, strong-minded golfers in history?

FUCK GREG NORMAN. He couldn't even take a shit as good as Watson can.

I hated Watson when I was a kid, because he was so arrogant (what I now understand to be confidence) and because he seemed to get the best of Jack (I grew up in a Golden Bear-supporting household). In fact, it started in 1977, when I was 10 years old and watched "The Duel in the Sun."

But over the years, I've come to not only respect but really be in awe of Watson. 5 Open Championships at five different courses? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? *And* he won at Pebble Beach and Augusta.

I watched him Thursday and I watched that incredible recovery on Friday (I seriously thought he was a footnote after 5 straight bogeys), and I watched every minute today. He can do this, because he doesn't have to "go for it" now. He is leading. He doesn't have to play risky golf to catch up. He still has the best swing in golf. Better than Els? Uh, yeah. I love watching that swing. No "torque" or attempt to murder the ball--just easy, compact, thoughtful, shot-making swings. And is there yet a better sand player alive? Holy crap did he make some incredible saves today.

It's his mind, see. His mind. He is as mentally tough a player as has ever lived. I saw that all day today.

So

YES HE CAN!

This a.m. watching him warm up, Curtis Strange was marveling at why TW would take his first swings with a long iron. I thought, "Shit, LOOK AT THE SWING!" There is no Fred Couples-esque chance for a back injury, there is no Eldrick-esque twisting of the knee; he's not a giant, he's not trying to finish high up behind his neck--it's the perfect swing.

That's it, isn't it? Did you see the video they showed of his swing over the course of 30 years (deep breath at even saying that) and how it didn't change at all? Nope. He's like the Ted Williams of golf. Same mechanics, same pre-strike routine. That speaks to his concentration and mental toughness, too. I always disliked him for that Keith Hernandez-like arrogance; I imagined him standing over the ball and thinking, "Heh heh, I'M TOM WATSON" and then hitting the ball perfectly.

The slo-mo videos they kept showing today of his ball striking was remarkable. I doubt the best players on earth of this generation get that kind of straight-on contact as much as he did today.

Sorry for going on and on--This guy is on my Mt. Rushmore of golf legends (with Hogan, Nelson, and Jack--space reserved for Eldrick) and he is there because of his performances at The Open, which is my favourite major.

Tomorrow could be really fun.

If you won't be needing that wicket...

This is a fun read.

Meh

I have two things to discuss. No, I have two things that suck that I must acknowledge.

HTF did England do what they did today? Of course, you can say "Because they're England" or make some ironic or sarcastic comment about how England will always fail. But that is not sufficient. Six bleeding wickets? It's just too much. It's just too painful if you support English cricket. That's all I can say.

And Adebayor wants to "take some time" to sort out his move to Eastlands?

Bah.

Ade, let me help you: YOU CANNOT PLAY FOR ARSENAL AGAIN. YOU BLEW IT. LEAVE. GO. NOW. FARE THEE WELL.

How could he f*** this up? Better yet, WHY?

Get out while the gettin' is good!

Adebayor is allegedly headed to Eastlands! Let it be, dear lord, let it be.

Now the question: What will happen to the better than 20 million quid headed to Ashburton Grove?

Does the manager get all of it? Any of it? Does he buy a striker or a holding midfielder? Does he get an experienced player for more money or buy another "promising youngster?"

The squad is actually pretty big. It's just young. There's talent. Some of it is world class, some of it looks like rubbish. But for sake of the argument, let's say there are currently these forwards/strikers available:
van Persie
Bendtner
Eduardo
Arshavin
Vela
and possibly Walcott

Jay Simpson has been given a squad number as well.

From what I've seen, IF this group can stay healthy, it's a very potent strike force with a nice mix of styles and abilities. There is pace, power, and guile. Bendtner and Vela need more matches to fulfil their potential, which I believe is abundant, but the others are ready. If you had six strikers, five of which are very important internationals for their countries, and the other one has featured on the wing for England, then in my unprofessional opinion, that's quite a collection.

Bendtner scores goals and has a good engine. And please remember he's only 21, and Vela is only 20.

So...
What I wish is that Wenger would go into the season with this group of forwards and spend whatever money he can on an experienced defensive midfielder. That's a wish; unfortunately, what I think will happen is that he doesn't get to spend this money, or he only gets a small bit of it, or he is told that he can have some of it in the January transfer window once we see how this squad performs.

Either way, now that I've typed this, I'm actually impressed with the group of strikers Wenger as assembled. WITHOUT Adebayor, the worthless git.

Nobody saw this coming.

How sweet.

Landon--in the future, when you decide to take on one of the most famous athletes ON THE ENTIRE PLANET, you might want to take a deep breath, count to 10, and call your agent.

That's my advice, and I'm a notorious hothead.


I said "hothead."

Once more unto the breach...

(Edit: The Ozzie press reaction. Very funny!)

I could not have imagined how the first test could have ended any way other than with a monumental destruction of the whole of English cricket. Ponting kept pouring it on during the first innings, centuries all around, before finally declaring. But why? With the weather bad, there had to be a chance that time would run out and they wouldn't even get a second innings. Hubris? It looks like it to me. He didn't want to win the test; he wanted to embarrass England.

But this is what England love--approaching a colossal failure, only to rally heroically as cries of "Come on, England!" are shouted desperately from the stands. England--completely unwilling to prod and defend for four days; only one way to go, full speed ahead, blood and thunder, the Crimean war, the Big Push...One idiotic swipe at the ball after another, wickets falling like mad, callow Ozzie bowlers made to look like legends--what the hell?

I wasn't able to follow Sunday's action until it looked far beyond England's reach to salvage a draw. Then Paul Collingwood stood up and decided to play some very boring cricket, nearly SIX HOURS worth. Well done, sir. Very not-English. Very pragmatic. Until, six runs down and 11.3 overs left, he lost his wicket. And who was left? Monty Freaking Panesar. And yes, he and James Anderson not only caught and passed the Aussies run total, they batted until the end and denied Ponting the chance to do anything else.

England were horrible, and didn't lose. You have to blame Ponting as much as credit Collingwood. One, for letting the first innings drag on and on, and two, for his strange bowler selection during the final overs. I'm certainly no expert on the sport but he had no answer for England.

I doubt if England can win back the Ashes, but this stand alone was brilliant simply because I can't imagine how disappointed the knuckle-draggers must feel today.

Consistent, at the least

As I type this, Oz are 217 for 1. England finished their 1st innings at 435 all out. Broad managed a stunning 19, and poor ol' Monty a 4. Kaitch and Ponting are currently each working on centuries. Good lord, England.
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Big Boys Save the Day

We watched the USA B-team labour against Honduras last night, needing a spark from subs who had played in the Confederations Cup. Yes, I know it's shocking, but Bradley actually used all three of his substitutions, and to great effect. Feilhaber and Davies played very well once they were introduced, and Kenny Cooper provided fresh legs for an obviously winded Brian Ching. Good choices, good results; way to go, Bob!

My observations (This saves me from having to write a narrative, which I'm not in the mood for):
There is good and bad in the B squad, but this is a nice chance to develop players that are going to have to support the 2010 qualifying campaign.
Troy Perkins looks quite good, cutting down the angle on one breakaway, saving a point blank shot, good distribution and showed he knows when to come off his line and when to stay back.

Great to see Cherundolo back. He played the full 90 and kept the squad out of trouble with his tackling and hard work. And when the subs came on in the 64th minute, he moved forward and got in on the attack play. Having him healthy, again, gives Bradley options.

Same for Brian Ching--Again, one of the A squad players made a difference. You could see how he would have helped out in the Confederations Cup had he been healthy. He might not be a big forward by world standards, but at 6'1" and 200 lbs. he provides a big target for the USA. He participated in the build-up to the first goal and was clinical finishing off the second. If he stays healthy and if Jozy can get more club matches, I like our attacking chances in the upcoming qualifiers. Which leads to...

Charlie Davies. He immediately changed the game and you could just sense that a goal was coming. His pace is deadly and he's a real footballer, not a one-trick pony like Cobi Jones. I'd like to see Bradley use him as a winger instead of a forward, because he can absolutely terrorise fullbacks with his speed. However, I was also impressed with the way he found space in the middle and held the ball up for Quaranta's goal, and his pass was perfectly weighted. Touch? From an American?

Benny Feilhaber's progression as a complete midfielder has been fun to watch. He can defend or attack, he passes very well, and has played the role of impact sub very well. I don't see him starting, considering who is in front of him, but if Bradley needed him due to injury or suspension, I think we'd all feel comfortable with Feilhaber in there.

I liked the work of the B squad guys, even if they did give away possession too often, which basically makes them Americans. Adu showed some really nice touch when he made quick passes, but when he fools around with the ball he is easily dispossessed and makes mistakes. Play quick and direct and he can be an asset. I'd like to have him on the wing--he's just too small to play forward against real footballing nations. Beckerman was great--lots of good tackling, pretty good distribution, and good at breaking up the Honduran attack. Robbie Rogers made a lot of good runs up the left side. He needs to work on what to do once he's beat his man to the corner flag, though.

Lastly, big ups to Quaranta for both the goal and simply making it back into the side and making the most of the opportunity. The goal was beautiful and so rare from the USA. I like to see players take their chances without hesitation and he read that ball from Davies perfectly. Good for him.

So there we have it. A nice victory over a side that sent its best players (several of whom play in Europe) sets up an easy one against Haiti. Might we get to see Kenny Cooper start?

Beyond the boundary

I confess even more my gross Anglophilia: I've been waiting for The Ashes.
Day 1: England win the toss and choose to bat.
After 90 overs: England 336 - 7.
This would seem to put Oz ahead. Some say by a little, some say they won the day. What's bad is the way Kevin Pietersen went down--he bonked the ball off his HEAD. Brilliant.

He seems to think that England can get to 400 tomorrow. We'll see. Today was filled with wild back-and-forth swings. I think at one point, England were 90 for 3. Then KP and Collingwood combined for a 138 run fourth wicket, and England were back. When it was 327 for 5 with only 4 overs to go, it looked like a fantastic day. Wrong, per usual. This is England, after all. Prior and Freddy managed to go out in those four.

The Guardian's Ashes Coverage
The ECB's Ashes Site
BBC English Cricket

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Nat's Landing

USA play a country with no government tonight. Honduras gave us a tough match last time, possibly far tougher than it should have been. Let's hope the JV squad can handle the early going.

I was asleep at the wheel when Oguchi Onyewu signed for Milan. Let me say that again: OGUCHI ONYEWU SIGNED FOR MILAN. I hope he has a clear understanding of what it means to play defence for that club, and what it means to go play in a country where hooting monkey noises at black players is considered polite behaviour, instead of, oh, let's say being hit with a flair or a dart. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud and excited for him, but Serie A is the ugliest of the big Uefa leagues.

In other news, Dick Cheney won't go away either

This is not the news I wanted to hear. This jerk played like garbage last season, acting like he wanted to get sent off during the CL semis and generally being worthless despite his huge raise.

If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't be criticising him like I am. He whinged, he dove, he did everything other than stay onside and try to score. And unfortunately, that was the case most of the season. He got his money, and he essentially slipped into a comfort zone. He looked like a greedy and spoilt footballer.

Now Wenger's unmatched loyalty looks to ruin what many Arsenal supporters had hoped would be the sale that financed at least one or maybe even two squad-strengthening purchases. Where is the classy, holding midfielder? Where is a REAL goal scorer? We're to pin our hopes on the fragile health of Eduardo? I don't have any expectations that he'll figure in even 20 matches. Rosicky? No, probably not him, either.

I'm not one of those plastic Arsenal supporters who thinks Wenger is past it or doesn't know what he's doing anymore. I've posted before that I fully understand the constraints within which he must operate. But knowing that, why not get maximum value for a player who displayed such a terrible attitude last season when the club needed him more than ever? Are we to believe that there isn't a player in the world who could do what Adebayor did last season for less than 80,000 quid a week? I'd as soon start Carlos Vela up front--at least he gives that Tevez-esque headless chicken effort. EFFORT. That was severely lacking from Adebayor.

The Antonio Gramsci Kiss of Death: Still Going Strong!

A. Murray walked out on the court a jumble of nerves, played a tentative first set in which he was broken to finish it. He was playing a better opponent than Wawrenka, and he couldn't afford that misstep.

So he lost in 4 sets.

I think it was the moment that got to him. He's a better player than RodDick, he has a better game. I hope he can right himself and win a major title soon. The window closes quickly these days.

The unforced errors have to go. The tendency to be too cute has to go. He still needs to get stronger.

I think Fedderer has it now.

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Mancs Take the Mickey

What does Ol' Red Nose see in Michael Owen? What does he hope for? This is bizarre. Owen is past it at age 29. Is he? Is this some kind of trick? Does it have something to do with hating Liverpool?

Still no word on any other Arsenal moves. They've signed the kids to some extensions. That's lovely.

He didn't even use the word "prat"

Oh no. This is really unfortunate.

Landon...Landon...what were you thinking? Well, you weren't. I know you're probably justified in this feeling, especially when we consider that it was your captain's armband that he took. But this makes you look petty and spoiled.

Did anyone outside of the LA changing room need to know this? No. It's not just that, but we could have predicted this anyway. He was getting paid a ridiculous amount of money, so it wasn't the money he craved. He probably figured out that he could still play football at a high level after recovering from his injuries and Milan offered him that opportunity. I'm not saying that's what he should have done. I'm saying that he is very competitive and it doesn't take the most devoted football fan to know that MLS wasn't going to satisfy that part of him.

So now all you have is the expectation that when Beckham comes back, somebody is going to have to sort out this mess. My guess is, it won't be Landon Donovan offering an apology.
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Cool Runnings in the SW19

I am very excited about the prospects of tomorrow's semifinals at the All England Club. I think Tommy Haas will make Roger work for it, and I think A. Murray will give a proper beat down to A. RodDick. What Amanda Moore saw in that guy, I'll never know. Once again, he turned into a whinging little bitch during yesterday's match and shot his mouth off to the chair umpire. What does that accomplish? Another Donovan-esque outburst that would have been better left unsaid, that's what. Murray needs to make quick work of this jerk and get ready for Sunday. I don't think he'll have too much trouble doing that. In case you need the link, here's The Guardian's Wimbledon site.